A Fault, a Seed

The flaw runs along the length

of my pale, clay and shale torso.

A tectonic fault

brought about by wanton weather patterns

iridescent shifts

fffin the eyes

fffin the palms

forgotten hymns remixed within

embalmed Toonami psalms.

 

I learned how to plant trees as a child.

Often they grew, thanking me for the soil.

You’d think, after years of building life by

filling spaces for the betterment

of the (immediate) world

I would know how to re-purpose a shovel,

I would know that one needs to add each single, solid, soft layer

of earth, of mineral, of sand and solar love

one at a god damn time.

All the way from the bottom

up through the star

hidden in the bridge of my nose.

 

Instead, I took a 2 dimensional spoon from some cartoon on the tube
and slammed it against the surrounding edges of my canyon
smiling at the delirious, dehydrated state of the being I was, laughing at the deepening, increasingly busted state of the psyche I toiled to correct.

Shrugging sunburnt shoulders and exclaiming, with no certainty and no care for it aside, “hopefully the dust settles such that all is well and fine, the hole is filled and once again we can think about sunshine, or perhaps even a solitary emotion rooted in more than air and empty arcs.”

Would you like to know why, dear writer, you will never be worthy of the sun? Of that last cup of water, of a kiss beneath a crimson blanket as the song you hate most plays and you forget to care about the overly crusted chorus?

No matter how long you spend dreaming up a field of molten love and distant skies fit to brim with salubrious storms, no matter how many drinks you can fit behind your glazed eyes before the night is done, and no matter how few times you say “I truly despise your character”, the smoke will always fall off of that same balcony beneath the same moon and it’s neighborhood stars.

Friendly?

Ah, but no one said friendly.

It was always assumed.

Your heart is gold and your hands are cold, Halsey.

But my heart is a weak and fearful sponge, and my hands are too recklessly uncreative to find a way to say anything better about that which pumps them full of purpose, second in and second out.

I know what you’re asking, dear writer. It’s what you always ask on nights like this. Nights where, you feel you’ve finally beat enough dust into the air to hide the fact that there even is a canyon anymore. A gap of any sort. One can hardly find an uneven surface, so long as they refrain from wincing.

“What do I do? How do I finally do it? Why am I still like this, even though I am no longer like that?”

I will never have an answer better than this. This. What you are doing. Actually thinking about helping and doing your best to go and go and go until there is some sort of brighter future on the horizon, for you, or for anyone really, to chase.

Keep going. Create the horizon. You know you want to because you keep looking at it, asking, pleading, knowing it will not answer. So make it answer. Create the horizon, and dye the storms with your eyes.

I cannot help with the canyon, however. I’m a poem, not a therapist. Get a therapist, and make sure they have the right kind of shovel–the short handle one with the nice plastic grip surrounding decent iron, the one you used to plant 100 trees in a single day. Let them toil away at you, as you toil at the world. Everyone needs help. Get help.

Get help so that you yourself can help. So that you yourself can finally, maybe, perhaps at last, sing the song buried at the bottom of your canyon, the one that needs good top soil reaching all the way to the surface. The one that yes, will then need water every single day after the hole is filled and yes, the one that will need sunlight from each separate dawn until the dawn’s respective end and yes, mulch that will not simply be tossed away by the next alcoholic breeze.

You want to finally sprout? You’d like a tree that means something? A day where you finally feel worthy of a kiss, of sweet songs written with the quills of the moon?

Soil. Water. Sun. Mulch. Love.

Love throughout.

Love instead.

Love even so.

Love, in rest.

Now play me out with the droopy notes threatening to end the concert of your eyelids earlier than expected. There are jobs to do that tired folk should not be doing.

photo credit to lunacameo

Advertisements

The Dusk, “Bought”.

If one could ever begin to twist

like the branches of trees we all derive from

there would be no lack of certainty

in the whims of our sunlight-driven whispers.

 

Tell me,

when last did you seek warmth without knowing

there is cold to be given in return?

How long will you stand still, shouting

that the evening has left you unturned?

 

No, the dirt that is shoveled leaves

answers in its wake.

You can add mulch,

tears,

broken conversation.

It matters not to your blue spruce.

The only matters a pine needle considers

are those just as pointy as

a minute itself.

 

Picture a frame

made entirely of dusk.

Your face

realizes its own potential

just as the sun

fades beyond

that which we all have decided

is “bought”.

Slumber (Prose Poetry)

I dream of colors who know each other by name. They leap upon one another, establishing a dominance only known to the kingdom outside civilization. The reactant rocks and emblems of walks combine into a singular emotion, and it does not rest. The body lies in slumber while the mind sits in a corner to wait, a corner of itself, watching the proceedings of its own uncertainty. Warmth is present, but fails to pierce the skin. Lacking any oceans, the heat folds instead of holding, lapping at a flesh inconsiderate of what it houses.

Singular stretching reaches a goal. Symbolic wishes push away action. If one is to wish upon a star, they should seek the dust within. Fairness is only present in the binding, everlasting battle between the blanketing Sun and the stripping space that surrounds. Greet the cacophony of yellow to red as you would the white space between the blues of rest. These words are easy to consume, yet altogether difficult to digest.

I am the first to know when light should linger.

Summer Adores You (Poem)

The sun drips through the leaves

Dancing off of their tips.

Tumbling down to the ground,

And your skin.

Without a sound,

It caresses you

The heat adores your hands.

Turning your palm,

You try to touch back

And though there is no grip

The sun knows.

Fall with it

 

Onto playful grass

Swaying at last

Bearing your weight tenderly.

The Earth misses you

When you’re not making

Contact.